A few weeks ago, our principal stood in front of our staff and shared news that many schools across our district are hearing right now: significant budget cuts are coming.
You could feel it in the room.
The silence.
The tension.
The questions no one quite knew how to ask yet.
As the days went on, the conversations moved from announcement to reality. Our principal, a first-year leader of one of the few K–12 schools in the district, began working through the budget with other members of her leadership team. I was in the room for some of those conversations.
And they were hard.
All told, around twenty staff members at our school alone were surplussed including licensed staff, support professionals, and administrative team members. I listened as some of my colleagues shared with me that they were being surplussed and what it meant for them to live with the uncertainty of the next few months. I listened as my principal shared the emotional cost of these decisions, including the sleepless nights, the strained relationships, and the weight of leading people you care about through loss.
Leadership looks polished from a distance.
Up close, it is often heavy.
Staying When Others Must Go
I was not surplussed.
I am deeply grateful for that.
But staying does not mean standing still.
Next year, my strategist role will be cut in half. I will return to the classroom for three periods while continuing part-time instructional leadership work. I will be teaching 6th grade for the first time, something I am genuinely excited about, while also navigating what it means to serve teachers and students from two roles at once.
It’s a pivot.
And it’s not the pivot I originally mapped out.
But here’s what I’ve learned: preparation is a form of protection.
Over the last year, I completed full-year lesson plans for 6th and 7th grade. I have built a deep library of resources. I even held onto classroom supplies when I transitioned into a strategist role. That quiet act of foresight now feels like wisdom.
What I’ve gained over the last two years as a strategist will not be lost. It will simply be transferred into my own classroom, into my own students, into my own practice.
Another Pivot: The Leadership Path
At the same time, I am still preparing to pursue school leadership.
Recently, our district announced a return to a model requiring new administrators to serve as Deans before becoming Assistant Principals. Another shift. Another adjustment.
Last year, I attended the informational meeting for the District's required leadership academy even though I wasn’t eligible yet because my degree wasn’t finished. I wasn’t ready, but I showed up anyway.
This month, I have my official informational meeting.
And this time, I am ready.
I’m not frustrated by the additional step. If anything, I see it as more preparation. I have learned that the long route is not the wrong route. It is often the refining route.
The Messy Middle
If I’m honest, none of this feels neat.
It doesn’t feel like the carefully curated five-year plan I once imagined.
It feels layered.
Complicated.
Evolving.
But it does not feel overwhelming.
It does not feel unattainable.
It feels like growth.
I am teaching.
Leading.
Preparing.
Pivoting.
Building.
And somewhere in the middle of all of it, in the budget cuts, the staffing shifts, and the professional recalculations, I still feel steady.
Not because everything is orderly.
But because I am learning to lead in the mess.
And maybe that’s the real work anyway.
So for now, I’ll keep moving forward, adjusting where needed, holding gratitude where I can, and trusting that even the detours are shaping something meaningful.
I keep moving forward.
Let's Pause...
Before you move on from this post, pause for a moment.
What pivot are you navigating right now?
Where are you being asked to stretch, adjust, or let go?
What have you already put in place that might quietly carry you through this next season?
Growth does not always look polished. Sometimes it looks like recalculating, rebalancing, and recommitting.
If you are in your own messy middle, know this: you are not behind. You are becoming.
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